IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT’S TIME FOR MAIL IT NEVER FAILS!

On July 26, 2016, Paul wrote a post announcing that he was going to write letters on his blog to anyone who requested one.  Mine was suuuuuper far down on the list, but I waited patiently.  For over a year.

BUT THE DAY CAME TWO DAYS AGO HAS COME

His post is here so you can go read through it via that lit link, but I’m also going to copy and paste parts of it here so my reply makes sense and so I can laugh a lot.



Dear Paul,

First of all, let me say, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA thank you ever so much for your amazing letter I will cherish it forever!

Now, onto your first questions:

  • Do you like calamari? Do they have it in Florida? Or should I say Flo-Rida like all the cool kids? No need to answer that. The answer is “NO”.

I have had calamari once in my life, and it was at Carrabba’s.  As my nickname has been Squid since I was, like, 8, I felt cannibalistic kinda bad about eating it… However, I did like it.  Battered and fried… mmhmm.  However, seafood (except for gilled fish like tarpon, tilapia, cod, etc.) isn’t kosher, and my family tries to stick to the kosher laws (my step-dad being a Messianic Jewish rabbi and all), so I haven’t had it since.  *sigh*

That’s not how you pronounce Florida?!? #livingalie The answer to that is always YES! 😀  I’ve always wanted to say Flor-idi-a myself, but rappers seem to gain more prominence when it comes to pronunciations…


As to your confession… Surprisingly, you’re not the first person to genuinely think that my name could be Squid.  I knew a guy who heard my mom call me ‘Sydney’ at our synagogue and was totally flabbergasted that Squid wasn’t my actual name.  I guess it didn’t help that I introduced myself to him as Squid when I first met him… XD

Don’t even get me started on camper names!!  One of my cabins this summer had very little even remotely-normal names, which added more difficulty to learning all of them. XD


Magnetodebut

The X-Men are a group of Marvel superheroes created in 1963.  They are all mutants, meaning they were born with their powers and not, um, mutated (?) by radiation or anything.  Don’t ask.  I’ve always been a fan of them and have watched most of the movies and read a lot of the old b/w comics.  However, totally fine that you don’t know of them; I know next-to-nothing about sports. 😛

I want to see a Y-Men movie!  Parodies are amazing, and that one is very creatively clever.  Even a political documentary about Yemen could work.


  • You like summer camps, eh? So do I. They make me feel smart. Kids know absolutely nothing, yet they know everything. Know what I mean? / They don’t know facts or historical information, but they can tell when you sneak an extra lunch for yourself, or when you talk to other counselors more than others.

OK, I totally forgot that I mentioned summer camp in my letter request.  I had just gotten back from my first week of camp ever in my life, as a camper at a Teen Week.  This year, however, I have just finally readjusted to life after working at a camp as a JC.  Veeerrry different perspective.

So, yo, I totally know what you mean!  This being my first year at this camp meant that a lot of the campers knew a lot more than I did about everything because they were returning for their 3rd, 4th, or 8th year, but they still couldn’t grasp that you need shoes to leave your cabin, your Bible to go to chapel, or that you should listen to the person giving the announcement so you don’t have to ask your counselor later. *sigh*  They are also extremely perceptive.


  • What is your favourite part of camp? Mine was the bus ride to the pool.

YOU GOT A BUS RIDE TO THE POOL???  OK, we didn’t actually have a pool, we had a lake, but we had to walk there!  I mean, it was just across the street, but still… Whoever had the cleanest cabin in the morning would get a golf cart ride there or back that day, but that was it.  I’m quite jealous. 🙂

Back to the really hard question.  I loved:

  1. Playing frisbee during canteen/oasis time with the campers and counselors.
  2. Leading worship with the rest of the team.
  3. The giant volleyball games.
  4. Having a camper come up to me and say, “I’m so glad God put me in your cabin.”
  5. Last but not least, I love the family I gained.

  • I never went to camp as a kid. I had video games that needed attention. / I credit video games for giving me my cat-like reflexes, which are sometimes panda-like reflexes, but who’s keep tracking? [????] / Also, video games helped prepare me for the technological world we live in today.

Truth!!  Video games do increase hand-eye coordination and teach you menu navigation skills like nobody’s business. 😀


*stops laughing for a quick second to gasp out words* Your fandom mix-up is completely and overwhelmingly hilarious!!  LotR, Harry Potter (which I know next-to-nothing about except for the fact that calling someone a muggle is an insult?), and Star Wars from one Yoda question.  *claps*

Shopping cart.  Buggy is what a horse used to pull back in the days of horse slavery.  Now we pull them.  Go figure.  You extra “u” people………

Heard of Yoda, you probably have.  Talks like this, he does.  Makes fun of it, people do.  Makes Yoda sad, it does.

As for the actual interaction, he’s probably not used to people not knowing who he is.  People are usually all like:

Fangirl: *fangirl squeal* Master Yoda, can I have your autograph??

Yoda: *whacks them with his stick* Fangirls, stop it now.

He probably actually appreciates the fact that you didn’t know who he was, but he was too surprised to show it.  Hence, grumpy.


I’ve been blogging for about 4 years now, so I’ve been following your blog for about 3 (if not more) years.  I’ve enjoyed every minute of it!

A consequence of my sister following you is that she reads your posts before I do sometimes and then tells me all of the funny parts (consisting of going back and rereading most of the post out loud).  She has done so on many occasions, so we have a little bit of a rivalry now. 🙂

Despite your celeb status in our house, I think my parents still are confused when I simply quote “Paul” instead of “Paul, that funny Canadian blogger I’ve been following forever and who I told you about like 3 years ago.” XD

Fairly Local – Twenty-Øne Pilots

The irony is that you’re a whole continent country away from the people who talk about you, so you’re almost the opposite of a local celebrity… an internationally local celeb?

Thank you for making my day with your letter!

-Squid

P.S. The title of this post comes from a super serious and boring song from a little-known TV show.  The mail song from Blue’s Clues.  I know, you’ve probably never heard of it.  We sang it at camp every. single. day. at lunch.  We would hold the “I” for a long time to prolong the suspense and then sing the rest as loud as we could… The counselors always got really into it and the kids looked at us because like we were weird.  That’s the point of camp, right?

2 Replies to “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT’S TIME FOR MAIL IT NEVER FAILS!”

  1. Oh wow, where do I begin?
    1. I like how one of your tags is “Paul”. That is amazing.
    2. Of course I know who Blues Clues is and the song!
    3. Muggle just means the person isn’t a wizard.
    4. I’m pretty sure my family is the only one who calls it a “buggy”. I get weird looks.
    5. Yeah, the pool we went to was at a community centre about a 10 minute drive down the road. And that isn’t a “close” 10 minutes either.
    6. I’ve always felt tempted to say Floridia too. It just sounds cooler.
    7. That’s a shame about calamari, but I understand. I worked at a Jewish camp even though I’m not Jewish and learned a thing or four kosher diets.
    8. I will accept my international local celebrity status
    9. Thanks for the reply! It was a good way to start the day

    Liked by 3 people

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